The Part No One Likes: Dealing with Criticism

You've done it. You've finished your story/article/book, the product of hours of hard work, a labor of love into which you've poured your heart and soul. You've gathered up your courage and posted/published it.

And then this happens...

You're crushed.

You may be angry or defensive.

You're upset, to say the least.

And all of those feelings are okay. They're a natural reaction to being hurt.

You need a hug.

 Maybe two.

Don't be ashamed of feeling hurt. It's only natural. But you can channel it into something constructive. Find a story you like and write a review that says all the kind things you wish the reviewer would have said to you.You can't help how you feel, but you are the one who decides how you'll react to it.

Once you've dealt with your emotional reaction, it's time to think about what the criticism means for you as a writer.

The first thing to determine is whether the criticism was constructive or not. Even if harshly worded, criticism may contain valuable information which will make you a better writer. Is there anything that you can take from the comment that you can use as a basis for improvement? Did they point out a plot hole you need to address? An action which seems out-of-character for one of your protagonists that may need more explanation? Grammar or spelling issues? All of these things can be fixed, but we need to be aware of them in order to do so.

All writers have room for improvement. None of us ever truly master the craft. It's a life-long journey, and if we're lucky and diligent, we'll get better as we grow and learn. In that respect, we all need criticism because it's very difficult to spot your own flaws, though you may be able to spot them in another person's work almost instantly. (Ever try to edit your own writing? It's very difficult, because your eyes "see" the story as it exists in your mind, not necessarily the words on the screen.)

I'm sort of working on that, myself.

Not all criticism is constructive, nor intended to be. Sometimes, people just want to be cruel. You're going to encounter it at some point. The important thing is to realize that you are not alone. No writer, no matter how gifted or famous, has ever escaped criticism. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said of Jane Austen: “Miss Austen’s novels … seem to me vulgar in tone, sterile in artistic invention, imprisoned in the wretched conventions of English society, without genius, wit, or knowledge of the world. Never was life so pinched and narrow. The one problem in the mind of the writer … is marriageableness.” Ouch!

Readers often have an emotional investment in a story. In that respect, angry comments can be interpreted as a sort of compliment because it means you have managed to touch the reader on an emotional level. Fanfiction authors have an unusual burden in this area, because they are already dealing with familiar characters that might have their own emotional baggage, such as readers being "prepared" to hate Tanya or Jacob in Twilight fanfiction, so some of their reaction may be brought with them from earlier works that they've read.

So, what do you do when you get a scathing review or mean comment? As I wrote earlier, the important thing is how we choose to react to criticism, both constructive and non-constructive. If you must respond, be polite. Don't fire back, or try to argue with the critic. It's futile and it only makes you look bad.

Also, the person may not realize how their comment came across to you. The written format is limiting in one respect: we do not have the benefit of facial expressions and body language which might "soften" a comment if it were given face-to-face. The person may not be a writer, after all, and may not be familiar with the power of words or the unintentional implications of them. They could be having a bad day and might later regret those words. There could be a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with you or your story.

Having been a recipient of criticism, it has made me more cautious when dispensing it. That doesn't mean you have to be nothing-but-positive when reviewing a story, but always keep in mind that there's a person just like you on the other end who may be hurt by your words. So choose wisely.

Many people suggest using the "sandwich" technique when dispensing criticism. Praise what you liked about the story, then make suggestion which might help the author improve, and end on a complimentary note.

After all ...